"Dust Thou Art ..."
Posted by Nerdyy
One of the most difficult things that I have experienced post moving to the US as a student about 25 years ago is the disconnection with almost all of my family, including parents. This is inevitable just because of the sheer distance, as well as the unavailability of any cheap method of communication especially in the earlier years of my stay in the US. My parents would of course, get to see me the most among my family, with them visiting for three month stretches and my couple of week visits. However, aunts and uncles, favorites and not-so-favorites, would only interact with me for those brief hours that I would spend at their house when I visited my parents.
Given that my parents are the youngest or almost youngest among their families, it was inevitable that aunts and uncles would pass away during those in between times. So, I would end up visiting them while I was there, and then someone would be gone the next time I visited. That was very disconcerting to me since I would never really say final goodbyes during my visits - it was always "see you next time" - well they were gone the next time. So, of late, I have decided to say my goodbyes every time I am there: goodbyes that are final farewells at least from my side; when I leave India I assume that (some among) my aunts or uncle will not be there the next time around. Thus I am left with my happy memories of childhood spent with each of them, as well as some sort of closure with my final farewells.
I realize that it is slowly coming to the point where it is my parents that will leave. One day(or night) I will get a call from one of them that the other is gone. And then at some future point I will get another call from someone else that they are gone too. And at this moment I have no clue how I will deal with that. I don't know how much time I have to prepare for this inevitability, but I have to start sometime. The bonds with my country of birth and the place where I spent (upto now) half my life are slowly falling apart.
Given that my parents are the youngest or almost youngest among their families, it was inevitable that aunts and uncles would pass away during those in between times. So, I would end up visiting them while I was there, and then someone would be gone the next time I visited. That was very disconcerting to me since I would never really say final goodbyes during my visits - it was always "see you next time" - well they were gone the next time. So, of late, I have decided to say my goodbyes every time I am there: goodbyes that are final farewells at least from my side; when I leave India I assume that (some among) my aunts or uncle will not be there the next time around. Thus I am left with my happy memories of childhood spent with each of them, as well as some sort of closure with my final farewells.
I realize that it is slowly coming to the point where it is my parents that will leave. One day(or night) I will get a call from one of them that the other is gone. And then at some future point I will get another call from someone else that they are gone too. And at this moment I have no clue how I will deal with that. I don't know how much time I have to prepare for this inevitability, but I have to start sometime. The bonds with my country of birth and the place where I spent (upto now) half my life are slowly falling apart.
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